You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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