My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
