You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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