i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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