I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
