You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
