You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
