Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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