is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
