so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
