is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i believe in u and ur pee
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