"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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