He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Life is so much better after having sex.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
