When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
