So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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