____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
