Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize