yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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