It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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