he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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