I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
