i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
