Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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