it was like his penis was on wheels.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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