I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just had sex bonerless
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
