You just made me feel so damn special
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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