Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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