my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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