How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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