Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
