I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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