She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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