yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
