Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
