it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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