it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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