Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
