You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
