Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
