Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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