I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
