Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
