May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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