im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My feet surprised me
Randomize