The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
