Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize