she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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