i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
