"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
