Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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