she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
