i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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