Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize