i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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