Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

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(905): View more from Toronto

I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.

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(469): View more from Texas

Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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(813): View more from Florida

So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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(678): View more from Georgia

New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart

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(916): View more from California

I smell like heartbreak.

(707): View more from California

Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?

(916): View more from California

How did you know?

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