My cat gives me a boner
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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