Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
