butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
