why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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