The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize