my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
