i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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