i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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