the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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