I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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