dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
