So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
