she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
