she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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